You know you're in a Yangon taxi when...

The driver opens his window for air... and the rain splashes you
One window is shards of glass taped together with cello-tape
There is only one window
The window doesn't open
The window doesn't close
The window handle is gone
The window handle is shared (sitting conveniently between the two front seats)
The car next door goes through a rather large puddle and you get soaked

You sit down and your pants get soaked
You sit down and you're lopsided
You sit down and feel a piece of wood underneath you
You sit down and the spring pokes you

There are ants climbing up the wall
There is no wall--it's just the bare metal car frame
... and said car frame is so rusty it looks like it has sat outside unused for 6 months... or has gone through a war or two
You can see the ground rush past through the enormous hole in the floor
You can see the road through the door
The door is held closed with a little wire hook
There are holes in the ceiling
The front seat is propped up on a piece of wood... and held to the car by a piece of chicken wire
You've been bitten by at least five mosquitoes
You've squashed one of those mosquitoes and it's full of blood (your blood)

It whirrs
It mumbles
It moans
It rumbles
It shudders
It grumbles
It squeaks
It creaks
It goes no faster than 30km/hr

There are red spit splatters all over seat/wall/door
There is an enormous puddle of water on the floor
There should be an enormous puddle of water on the flooor but it has leaked out through the enormous hole...