NY TIMES ESSAY: It’s Not You, It’s Your Books

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/30/books/review/Donadio-t.html?ex=1364529600&en=7de11785292c506c&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

This was a very interesting article—I've often thought this about
relationships. Within American and the west, I'm not a literature
snob—in fact, I'm often clueless. But I do love to read and it was
amazing how much it bothered me that my ex-boyfriend didn't read.
Okay, I sympathized (and felt sad) that he had no written first
language (his first language was spoken only), but still, he could
comfortably read in three other languages, and his father was a
reader, so why couldn't he be too? I'm a snob but I don't even
consider dating a man who hasn't had a university education (or at
least some of one). They're not worth my time because I know that
learning is important to me. I often wonder when considering
cross-cultural relationships, if I could bear not having the odd
intellectual conversation or if I could find that with other friends
once in the relationship. I often wonder about the same thing
regarding dancing. If I had to find it with someone else, would it
break the relationship? Maybe I'm a class-ist. Lenin would be
horrified. Am I justified though? Honestly, I consider it part of who
I am, and therefore an essential part in a life-partner. Hmm.

Very interesting about the gender thing. Women are more likely to be
snobs than me in terms of this. After all, men are the same gender
that like blonde, leggy and empty. But that bit about men not reading
(or perhaps, not readying for intellect). I suppose I'm okay with
non-intellectual books. After all, how can I be a snob regarding that
when I read smut myself? I guess it's important to want to read at
all, and to want to learn about things and places and events and other
life issues.

Death in Myanmar

What an emotionally draining day! What a lot of customs I learned
about today! What a new perspective I have on life and my students. I
am feeling my foreignness when I hear some of them. I'm also taken
back to an equally ostracizing yet enveloping experience in Manila
when something similar happened.

On Friday night, one of my former students, Myo Thet Paing, a senior
at our school, passed away after a car accident on his way home from a
birthday party. The circumstances of the crash are, from what I
gather, unknown (whether he was hit or not or why he went off the
road), but he ended up trapped in his suped up car, which exploded due
to the high octane fuel. Another tragic element is that another group
of students were driving behind him, and watched as the car exploded
and saw him burning inside. Any help, fire engine or ambulance,
arrived too late.

Our school was in mourning today, with the students organizing for
everyone to wear black. One student wasn't allowed to, because
apparently, for Chinese, wearing black brings harm to your parents. We
will bring in monks to bless our school and release MTP's spirit from
school. Buddhists believe that he doesn't know that he is dead, and
that we need to tell him and release his spirit/soul from each place
that he lived and/or died. Saying it aloud is sufficient, so tomorrow
at the funeral, we are probably going to read a letter from YIEC to
him. Students are also releasing him from debts (i.e. basketball
sponsorship), and calling out to him, grieving in a strong way. He was
a quiet student, and what I remembered him most for was when he jumped
the turnstiles in the Singapore MRT because he didn't want to tell us
that he lost his card!

The students are telling me many superstitions: They believe that the
ghosts of women were around the crash site, perhaps even causing the
crash. Bystanders reported hearing women screaming and thinking that
MTP was not alone in his car. Others talk about seeing him in the
mirror earlier that day and his reflection not matching his image. The
students consulted the fortune teller, who agreed that his cards and
fate showed his time/luck was up. Some students do not want to be
alone for fear his burnt ghost will return to them. Others confess
that they would love the opportunity to talk with the MTP they miss.
Many are afraid his ghost will haunt the school if the monks do not
bless it.

When I was in 11th grade, a student at my school in Manila, whose
brother was in my class, was killed in a car accident, and there was a
similar outpouring of grief as his family was a big part of the
school. It was a very memorable experience of grief--after all, how
many deaths do we experience of our peers at that age? I am
remembering that time now, and hoping that my students and our faculty
is as supportive of these students as Brent was for all of us.

Needless to say, we didn't accomplish much work today! While I did not
know MTP very well, I know that he will be sorely missed by all his
peers at YIEC, ISY, and abroad, and that this will impact our school
for a long while to come.

Classroom news

I had an excellent psychology lesson today. We're studying
personality, and I asked my students to list as many personality
temperaments and traits that they could think of, then we shared them
by writing them on the board. I told them that I'm really quite shy,
but easy going, which surprised many of them. We really are such
different people in the classroom. As we brainstormed I added more.

My temperament: easy-going, shy, calm, patient

My traits: curious, perfectionist, multi-tasking, devil's advocate,
procrastinator

It was really interesting to see what my students wrote about
themselves. One of my quietest students wrote that she was talkative.
Another two students wrote that they nag! One student admitted she was
blunt, and I could completely see it. Others were shy, impatient,
bossy, aggressive, obnoxious, perfectionists, obsessive, optimistic,
pessimistic, meticulous. Two of the best actors in the school both
said they were introverted! It was all very interesting.

------------------------

Last week I had a day where I had the best and worst lesson I've had
for a while. In Psychology (again), we were doing a lesson on ego
defense mechanisms (on how we cope with anxiety inducing situations).
I divided them into groups and gave them two mechanisms each. They
were then responsible for creating a skit to demonstrate that
mechanism. What fun!! The best skit that I can remember was a
combination presentation where the students had 'regression' and
'sublimation'. They organized two students as parents having an
argument. Then one student "regressed" doing every single thing on the
textbook's possibility list: she had a tantrum, she peed her pants,
she got aggressive, she cried and she stomped around!! The other
student had to express his unacceptable emotion (aggression in this
case) in a socially acceptable manner (i.e. a sport). Instead of
choosing something more logical like boxing or basketball, he decided
to horse-back ride across the classroom!! Hilarious! Other skits
demonstrated projection (putting unacceptable feelings onto someone
else), reaction formation (transforming anxiety-producing thoughts
into opposites in consciousness), rationalization, repression,
displacement, and of course, the classic: denial. So that was the good
lesson: fun, motivated, interested students enjoying and learning.

The following class is my difficult class. They aren't motivated,
complain about everything we do, and there are hyperactive boys that
make it very difficult to teach. One student was half an hour late,
began talking back, and refusing to do any work because I wouldn't
allow him to go and get water and overall made things incredibly
difficult. I wanted to scream and pull out my hair. Unfortunately it
soured a good day.

--------------------------

I'm having my students do another exercise at the moment. It seems
incredibly rewarding for them, or at least I hope it is!

These were bonus exercises: the first requested that they interview an
elderly relative and talk with them about their lives in the various
developmental stages. What went well? What didn't? What have they
learned about love? Money? Relationships? Growth? Happiness?

The second exercise involved two letters. The first letter was to be
written to their imaginary son at the age of 18. They had to talk
about their strengths as a parent, what their ideal characteristics in
a person would be (akin to Kipling's 'If' or 'Desiderata'), and where
they hoped their son would progress to. The second letter was more
self-reflecting. It was to be written to their parents, thanking them
for being parents. It had to mention something significant in terms of
development that they had an impact on as a parent. They had to write
one strength and weakness of each parent, what their personal values
were, and what impact their parents may have had on this. I've been
thinking that I could benefit from such deep self-reflection!! Perhaps
I should write such a letter!
Anyway, I may just write them!!

Long overdue news!

Can't even remember the last time I posted, and since it's blocked I
can't even look to check. I'm assuming it was sometime near when I
went to Korea. Well, it's now February, and where does time go?
Anyway, I was inspired when I visited another Myanmar teacher's blog
so will try and share some news today. If only I could post pictures!!
Perhaps I can, I've just never checked.

After a fantastic trip around Myanmar with my family, I tumbled
head-first into another semester (my last!) in Myanmar. Within the
first week, I was well into my job search for next year. I secured
interviews and offers from Guatemala, Mongolia and Azerbaijan, and
since they all needed to know ASAP, I made my decision yesterday. I am
moving to Baku, Azerbaijan. It's very exciting! It was so interesting
discussing those places with friends and colleagues here. Almost all
of them had very strong opinions about me going to Guatemala or
Mongolia. I think they were thinking of what they would choose. Nobody
knows anything about Azerbaijan, of course, so it doesn't even figure
on their choice radars. I know about it, have even been there in fact,
so I was coming from a totally different perspective. While I would
have been happy in any of the three places, this was my choice. I will
make sure that in the next two years when I live there, at least the
realm of my friends will get to know more about it!!

Why didn't I choose the others? Guatemala was a wonderful job at a
wonderful school, but very poor pay, comparitively, and I would not
have been challenged in my job (I'd have been teaching the same thing
as what I am now). Mongolia had a very similar job to that in
Azerbaijan, but wasn't as good a deal, and I think wouldn't have been
a very plesant place come winter (the interviewer on Thursday casually
mentioned it was minus 25 degrees (either Fahrenheit or
Celcius--they're both cold!) and that everyone spends a lot of their
money getting out for winter break!). While cold doesn't faze me (I
also applied to Moscow and Iceland), I also wanted to be closer to my
family and Eastern Europe, and Mongolia is awfully isolated.

Where is Azerbaijan? You probably wouldn't be surprised at how many
people asked me that, and these are worldly people who live in
Myanmar, too!! Ironic, isn't it, that I will go from one obscure place
to another!! Well, Azerbaijan is the country on the Caspian sea
between Russia and Iran, roughly at the same latitude as Turkey (with
many similarities to it). It's one of the Caucasus countries (with
Georgia and Armenia), which I visited with my family in the summer of
2004. It's an oil town, with Muslim and Silk Road heritage, a "stan"
wannabe, and of course is still quite Soviet. I imagine it will be
similar to living here in terms of the civilization outside the
cities, the social life of the expats, among other things. I'm already
looking forward to having a winter, being nearer to Europe, travelling
south into Iran and Turkey, and having weekends in Dubai! Visiters, of
course, are most welcome, although from experience, living in obscure
places doesn't really entice many.

Anyway, am currently planning my exotic summer... on my dream list is
going around Myanmar, going back to NZ, going to the Philippines for
my high school reunion, going to Kara's wedding in the states, and
doing some travel with Mum and Dad--we've idly discussed the
Trans-Siberian, Bhutan and Ladakh. Not to mention I'd love to do
another dig in Romania, and my friend from here, Cecile is hoping to
have a nice French country house that will need visiting!! What a
wonderful time I'm going to have!

Well, I was supposed to be going for a pedicure an hour ago, so had
better get to it! Love to hear your thoughts on all this! :)

Beautiful friends!!! Hello to all you lovely people. 

Seasons Greetings!!! 

I hope you have having a wonderfully festive holiday season and that 2007 has gone well. Things with me are as hectic as ever... I do so love being busy! When I started writing this, I was about to take the soccer team that a friend and I coached to Chiang Mai, Thailand, for a tournament, and then a week later I also was preparing to take a group of students to Korea to see snow for the first time in their lives and go skiing. Now, of course, weeks have passed and all that has happened!!! If that isn't enough, this weekend, my brother and parents arrive for a two week sojourn here in Myanmar. We're going up north to the fabulous Bagan temples, the gorgously mystical Inle lake, and then have a beach relaxation session at Ngapali beach. 

The nights have gotten cooler--can you believe I actually need a blanket in the tropics? However, with the cooler season have also come power cuts--we're currently losing power for 6 hours every day. So I've had a lot of bucket showers, because of course, when we lose power, our electric water pump also stops working. But it's not the hot season yet... then I'll really feel the pain of it, but I suppose I'll be just like everyone else in Yangon, then. 

I truly love my peaceful, non-technology dominated, life in Yangon, and I live in a big house with a gorgeous garden full of beautiful birds calling out day and night, which I share with another teacher who works at the British Council here. However, despite all it's luxuries and wonders, I've decided that this will be my last year in Yangon, so will commence the exhausting search for jobs in January. Currently I'm thinking that somewhere in the former Yugoslavia, the Baltic, or Eastern Europe would be nice, but I'm not ruling out Yemen, Libya, Iran, Turkey or other places. Incidently, did you hear about the British Kindergarten teacher in Sudan who was sentenced to 40 lashes for calling her classroom teddy bear Mohamed? If you're thinking of visiting Myanmar (I know that won't include most of you!), you've only got 6 more months, but otherwise, you may want to consider my exciting new destination, whatever it is! 

Anyway, I must end here--apologies for being so short, but it's 2am and tomorrow I'm running errands around town, so need to be up early! Also sorry that it's a group email, but the internet here has made that task difficult enough. I just hope I didn't miss anyone out, though I'm sure I did. Still, if I don't send this now, it won't be sent at all! I will put a list of highlights for this year, though! I've been terrible about communicating this year... no doubt many of you are surprised to hear from me at all! 

Important and rewarding things I did this year: 
Spent New Year 2007 on a plane (again) on my way to New Zealand 
Witnessed monks protesting in Myanmar and experienced with the related wave of ramifications 
Backpacked through Colombia 
Completed my Graduate Diploma in Education from UNE in Australia --I'm now a certified teacher! Also spent a lovely week in Australia because of this!! :) 
Was bridesmaid for the first time ever - yay Amanda and Nick!! 
Joined facebook -- the best and most addictive site ever! (Do join and then you'll see all my photos, because of course, my other site, flickr, has been blocked here since the protests) 
Took 35 students to Beijing on Week Without Walls--more stress than rewards, but a great learning curve 
Spent a week with my parents in Dubai and Oman 
Taught another Model United Nations and Advanced Geography summer school for JHU CTY 
Attempted to start the AP Psychology course at my school, but have had to deal with no textbooks whatsoever (they only arrived last week!) 
Grew, changed, matured, aged, survived, lived, learned and all the rest! And I'm sure there's lots more, but really can't think of it! 
Best wishes for December and of course, 2008 as well! 
Hope you're healthy and happy. LOVE, LIGHT and LAUGHTER to your day!!! 
xxoo 
Natalya 

In Chiang Mai

Just a quick note from a little internet cafe in the middle of the Airport Mall in Chiang Mai--gosh it is exhausting following teenagers. It's the trust factor... are they leaving and going to a bar? I'm glad I'm not on night duty!! We just had a tragedy amongst the group, so we're also dealing with that as well! All sorts of complications!!

Chiang Mai is interesting... a wee dinky city. I think it's quite pleasant as it's not a boom town like Bangkok, but has all the amenities needed. We were discussing over lunch though, how Thailand isn't really living abroad... too much is too easy!! :) Will explore the city some more and the night market tomorrow and will report back!

News and events Oct/Nov 07

The other day, when I was looking everywhere to find Vaseline (which I didn't ever find), I watched a plastic bag scuttle across the street. Sure, plastic bags are everywhere, and they often crinkle in the wind. What amazed me was the speed and directness of this bag, until I realized that it was really a camouflaged rat! Then it rapidly descended into a pothole in the ground, and I had to smile!!

Such is life here as we return to normalcy, sans a few essentials, like my photo site flickr and of course, this blog. The internet is painfully slow, as usual, but life goes on. What have I been up to? Well, after I spent a week lazing around Bangkok with my dad (yay Chatachuk Market!!) I spent a weekend in Ngwe Saung beach on a special deal through a hotel here. Such a good weekend—a really good bunch of people from all sorts of walks of life in Yangon. We had a BBQ by the beach and I got sunburned because I rode too long on my motorbike!

Had my last assignment for this degree that I'm doing. Hopefully, my GradDipEd will be over and done with by Christmas. What a relief. I have time to read and do other things. Had better get along with the paperwork if I'm to use it for job searching for next year. Where do I want to go next? Former Yugoslavia? Yemen? Libya? The Baltic? Ethiopia? Eastern Europe? Iran?

A friend, Hayley, and I are coaching the girls' soccer team and that's in full swing… games every week. They're a great bunch of girls, and we head to Chiang Mai next week for a tournament as a culmination of the season. I've learned that it's a bad idea to be around them after 4 donuts at lunchtime!!

I'm also organizing a Week Without Walls trip for the first week of my Christmas vacation. I am overly ambitious of course, and decided to take them to learn how to ski in Korea. Things have been stop and start from the get go, and I'm still hoping things will smooth out, considering that it's in 3 weeks!   Anyway, it should be good… after which I get back to Yangon and my brother and parents arrive for some quality travelling time. It'll be January in no time.

Went to Kyaiktyo last weekend with some co-workers. It's the pilgrimage site of the Golden Rock. Yet another bizarre Buddhist monument in Myanmar, but it was a great weekend. Spent the first day up at the rock watching the hundreds of pilgrims who set up camp on top of the mountain. The second had, Paula, Tim and I hiked up to the rock—4 hours up! We went looking for the waterfall, which was a bit of an adventure and another 2 hour walk straight down then up again. Lots of steps, but was feeling very fit for not stopping all the time like I usually do! I was feeling poetic for the next bit, so excuse the fluty words.

We took a long lazy train trip back to Yangon. The sun filtered through the open windows and the breeze blew gently past our swiveling $4 dentist-chair seats. The haystacks glowed golden, the fields were green and fertile and ready to reap. We talked idly about whether water buffalo looked more similar to pigs or cows. The little muddy creeks we clicked past had tiny long boats loaded high with white sacks, pushing the sides almost under the water. When we came to a bridge, the train slowed to let us cross the cross-hatch iron structure, coincidentally allowing us maximum exposure to the cool river breezes. Little men's heads marched past, their bodies half hidden in fields of wheat, large loads of wood or branches piled high on their heads. Women in coned hats worked the soil or moved the animals near their simple wooden huts. Gleaming white and shining golden payas atop grassy mounds appeared in fields or simply as pointy tips above the tree-tops. Around noon, many lay napping under straw sheets. Horned Brahmins with sagging double chins flicked away flies and children ran joyfully through villages. The train's route was far pleasanter than the bus--going through the rural fields, and we were high up with an excellent view over the padis. We didn't go very fast, but the gentle lolling quickly put me to sleep.

                A romantic perspective this no doubt is, there were also clothes lines strung with shabby, holey, frequently-washed clothes, trash in random places along every path, and extreme poverty at every turn. Perhaps I idealize their happiness? Sure there are squalid ponds of mosquitoes and sewerage and a little family of mice appeared beneath our feet, zipping from the haven of one chair to another, scuttling under the blocks, almost too quick to see. The train doors flapped open and closed like a saloon, and the occasional faint whiff of toilet was putrid.

                The cool breeze combined with the wide open delta vistas provided for a very relaxing trip.

Anyway, am back in Yangon now, grinding away at our last few events of the semester. I just figured out that this email-to-blog thing works (Thanks, Sam!) so will try and post more often! Pictures are on facebook—if you're not a member, join now!!

 

Testing!!!

I just want to test my email-to-blog-function to see if its working because blogger is banned!!!

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Natalya Marquand
Yangon International Educare Center
No. W-24 Mya Kan Thar Main Road
5th Quarter, Hlaing Township
Yangon, MYANMAR
Home phone: +95-1-562947

"Happiness is like a butterfly: the more you chase it, the more it will elude you, but if you turn your attention to other things, it will come and sit softly on your shoulder." (Thoreau)

From Bangkok

This time my strange blogger language is Thai. I wish they'd create an easy link for English, though I suppose this enriches my travel experience. I suppose that I should just be glad that it's not in Hebrew (very likely--the internet shop I'm in has more Hebrew than English or Thai) because then it would be backwards.

I'm in the middle of a great internet fix. Fast connections, nothing blocked (all those website links that were accumulating in my inbox are now cleared), and no time pressures to be anywhere else. In fact, I'm feeling a little bit dazed: square-eyes is the TV version. Basically, I can do the impossible: feel my eyeballs! So let's see, what have I been up to? I read Liz's absolutely wonderful story of her newborn baby, Erica. 50+ hours of labor and wonderful blog-letters to her new daughter. What a wonderful way to record it for the world. It was bizzare to see Laura's post on Liz's comments saying "Has anyone heard from Natalya?" What a strange place to look for me! I'm here, helloooooooo!!! If you want to read her lovely stories, look here.

Okay... it froze there for a while, and since I couldn't read the labels (silly Thai script), I posted it. But I wasn't done. So all you automatic downloading people (including facebook), will have to just get it twice!!!

I was also reading someone's informative travel history on Myanmar. It's made MSN-NBC, which is a miracle. See here. Also, a great article from Outside Magazine this month on the mystical city: here.

I have also been browsing facebook (as usual, and checking long lists of emails). Sadly, I can't make it to Andre and Olya's wedding in November. :( Hi to everyone. I really am thinking of you, but just can't get online often enough.

Next mission is to do my two assignments. Hopefully, I'll be bored enough here to move on to it quite quickly. I almost did today, but then I found the internet!! :)

Anyway, just wanted to post and update my life. I'll do a couple of other posts, but less personal!

Situation

Right now, things are different in Yangon. Tense. The internet has been banned for over a week, and there is still a curfew. There are multiple people still missing/arrested/detained/being mistreated. There are reports that those detained are not being fed, are all living in stadiums or race tracks or other non-detention facilities because normal facilities are full. Rumors abound. Fear is everywhere.

Right now I am on the outside, but once I'm back, that's it. No more communication with the outside world. Meanwhile the world debates briefly, then forgets about it. I didn't see it on the news once while in America, and while the immigration person knew what was going on, most were oblivious.

Where is this going?